yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
