Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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