More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
