Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
