I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
