So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
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