your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
