Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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