i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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