Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
