Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
