Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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