Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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