when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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