And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
