Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
No subtext here. People are naked.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
