I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
