....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
