Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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