i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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