You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
