Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
