I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
