Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
