I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
