Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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