If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Randomize
