yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
