We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
