How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
