Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
did you just send me my own nude
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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