Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
