There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
