I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
