oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
