So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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