Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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