Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
