lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
