my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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