you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
