Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize