Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
