Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
