where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
