There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
