Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
