I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I need a beard to bite.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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