I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
