wanna go halves on a baby?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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