Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
