I'm drive I can fine osifer
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
