guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
