Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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