Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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