It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There's always time for handjobs
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize