That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
