awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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